tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49469693873673127902024-03-12T20:01:31.823-07:00I love my CJkeri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-6013925445360658872014-02-12T00:07:00.001-08:002014-02-12T00:07:10.680-08:00February 11<span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[0]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Two years ago we slept in today. It was a Saturday and we slept in hard. We got dressed and went and played tennis for a couple hours and hopped on our bikes and went to togo's for lunch. On the way home it started to rain and we were both laughing because we were frozen and just in our sweaty gym clothes. We stopped by the sports authority to fix the strings on my racquet and rode home. We watched a couple episodes of breaking bad and then CJ said "I'm going to take you on a date. Get ready" so we got ready and drove down to Laguna beach and walked around and watched the high school kids take pictures on the beach. I stood behind him so he would block the wind and we watched the sunset. The sunset was so pretty and he snuck this picture because I don't like solo shots. After sunset we went and got pizza and walked into some shops. It was a filled day and I remember it like it was yesterday. We lived for the weekends and to spend all day with each other. I woke up today a remembered today. Miss him and love him. </span><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[1]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">#ilovemycj</span><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"> and I am grateful for all the love I am feeling this week from everyone</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VL_aQuypO0w/Uvsro8zq5UI/AAAAAAAADxE/86aLeHW9mo4/s1600/IMG_2555.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VL_aQuypO0w/Uvsro8zq5UI/AAAAAAAADxE/86aLeHW9mo4/s1600/IMG_2555.JPG" height="238" width="320" /></a></div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-86656396307199819162013-08-24T23:21:00.001-07:002013-08-24T23:21:14.859-07:00A little memory today. I love him<br />
<br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/qR3rK0kZFkg">http://youtu.be/qR3rK0kZFkg</a><br />
<br />
I found this link today... It made me smile. One day I was feeling down. I went to an interview to be a flight attendant and got turned away at the door for being an inch too tall. I called CJ and he told me to just drive to his work "that his babe just needed a hug". He would be waiting for me to come outside. I did what I was told.. drove straight to Fidelity and there he was, my handsome man, with his hands in his pockets waiting for my arrival. I got out and he just held me and told me it would all be ok, not to worry. I felt save there. I miss him. When I got back to work, (dont worry, I left my current job on a "lunch break" to go to this interview) this video was waiting for me to open in my email. CJ wanted me to watch it and hoped it would make me smile. CJ ALWAYS knew how to make me smile, how to make me feel so loved, and to support my madness. I love him. miss him like CRAZY.<br />
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-55210124330686705152013-06-01T00:53:00.003-07:002013-06-01T00:53:39.058-07:00Calories<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If there is one thing you know about CJ is the boy LOVES to
eat. Not just any plain jane food, good food. CJ liked to say he had a
“sophisticated food palate” and knew a good meal. He did.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we first started to date… Girls being girls, I would
order a salad. CJ would take me to all these different places to eat with food
from around the world, and I was clueless on what to order. I soon came to my
senses and LOVED it with him. I think one of our biggest argument (haha if you
even call it an argument) was whenever we went to eat, I would always like his
food better and I would get mad because I wanted his over mine. He always just
smiled at me, and even gave in and would switch me plates just because he loves
me so much… but to solve our “argument” CJ came up with a solution, a game
changer, he loved fixing a situation to benefit us both. He said “why don’t I
just order my two top choices from the menu and we can switch half way and both
be happy about it. BOOM, solved. I
hardly even looked at a menu from that point on because I always knew he would
pick a good meal. One thing I always loved with him, is he would always ask me
if our waiter/waitress looked like a “good eater”? If so, we trusted their
opinion to what the best thing to order on the menu. We both considered
ourselves “good eaters”. We were so good… we had a club, the C.P.C. club- CLEAN
PLATE CLUB. Whenever we were in the club for our meal… CJ would say “das my
babe” and give me a big high five or at the end of our meal… which ALWAYS had
to end on a dessert, we would do our hand shake to each other laughing with how
much we ate. <o:p></o:p></div>
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He wasn’t just a simple “light” meal eater either… he was a
three course meal… all meals of the day.
He loved desserts…and I love that because most men (or at least I feel
this way) are not huge treat people. Not my babe. This the main reason we had our “love weight”
gain once we were married. We were so happy we ate it up… every day was date
night, and we both put on some LBS of love.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Whenever we went on a trip… our days revolved around where
the best place to eat was…. Because lets get real people, that is the best part
of your day.. FOOD. Without it we get hungry and grumpy… CJ is a happy guy… so
we just kept that food coming, it always made me so happy to see him eat a good
meal… I guess people noticed that about us, because for our year anniversary my
parents took us to Vegas and we went to a buffet because my dad said: “I like
to see you both eat because it makes you happy..” haha, so for our anniversary
my dad wanted to watch us eat together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My favorite memory, maybe of all times (well the one I
laughed the most at) is when we were in New York. We were just walking around
the city and I just wanted to test CJ to see if he knew my favorite food, so I
asked what that was (I don’t even know what y favorite food is, I just wanted
to see what he would say) He just turned to me with the biggest smile and said
“CALORIES” he didn’t even break into a laugh, It was like a sincere answer… he
did pause before he answered, gave it some thoughts, and that is his answer “my
babe loves her calories, anything that has calories, she love them”. I tried to
be mad about the comment.. but I just started to laugh and gave him a big ole
kiss because he just loves his babe… no matter how beastly I was. I thought it
was the cutest answer/insulting answer, but very truthful. We both just would
ask that question throughout our trip and just laugh… calories. The more I
think about this, the more it really is the most LOVING answer. He just loves
me. He always said I would love you even if you gained 100 pounds… it’s just
more to love!! Haha. I can just see him
looking at me with that smirk just laughing at me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Whenever I order now, I always ask the waiter what his
favorite meal is.. and base my order off that. I know CJ would be proud of me..
I am actually making a decision and ordering how he taught me to. I miss him
like crazy… and love him like CRAZY!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-44677203501191458482013-03-30T22:32:00.000-07:002013-03-30T22:38:51.160-07:00Easter Sunday WeekendCJ and I flew down to California.. so that CJ could officially ask my dad if he could marry his daughter, ME, over Easter weekend. Right before we flew down on that Thursday (2010), CJ sat me down and told me how the ring wasn't ready. That he tried to get the ring finished in time because he knew I would love it if he proposed when we were with my WHOLE family around. I was a little bummed but I didn't care because I was going to marry him no matter what. So, I said ok, and we flew to California.<br />
<br />
The next morning CJ and my dad went golfing. I knew that CJ was going to ask my dad the BIG question, so I was all giddy, waiting for them to come home!! CJ came back and said it was fine.. played golf... asked the question.. and we were good to go- WE WERE GETTING MARRIED!! I can still remember how excited I was and the butterflies I had. MY DAD SAID YES!!<br />
<br />
Saturday we hung out, played tennis, hung out with my family, and watched conference. All my sisters and everyone was asking me if CJ had the ring, if I knew what it looked like, when he was going to ask. I didn't have the answer for any questions, I was just on cloud nine and knew I was going to marry my CJ. CJ and his best friend, Andrew, designed my ring and I had no idea what it was going to look like. CJ and I spent a total of 15 minutes in a ring store and CJ said he knew what "he/I wanted". The funny thing is that I didn't even know what I wanted, but I trusted CJ's taste, and we left the store... I just had to be surprised. So, I had no clue about the when, where, how, what... I just knew how excited I was to marry him!<br />
<br />
Sunday, the entire family came to my parents house for Easter. Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, some cousins, and all my brothers and sisters with their kids. We did the Easter egg hunt, CJ helped hide eggs for the kids, and I loved just watching him be apart of my family. The best part is we took a family picture and CJ stood right next to me... he was going to be the newest addition to the family and I was so excited! I was squeezing his hand so tight in the pictures and he would whisper funny things to me like "its not official yet".. but it was and I was so proud to show him off to my entire family. After we ate and said bye to my grandparents and cousins, CJ really wanted to go to the beach. He had a valid point too... he flew all the way to California, he needed to at least see the beach before we flew home the next day. I vividly remember grabbing a blanket and heading out the door.. all my family was acting all giddy and right before I shut the door I popped my head back in and said "don't worry everyone, he doesn't have the ring, he isn't proposing.. we will be back in like an hour", and I shut the door behind me. We drove down to the beach and we talked about how fun it would have been if he had the ring.. so that my grandparents could see. I agreed, but I was totally fine because I knew it was going to happen... eventually!!<br />
<br />
We parked the car at "our spot", which is right down in Carlsbad, off or Christiansen St. Went down the stairs and started to walk down the beach holding CJ's hand, not even thinking that he would ask the BIG question. We came up to these rocks and CJ said lets sit and watch the sunset, our favorite, so I agreed and headed to the rocks. We picked the rock and I started to climb when CJ started to tug at my waist and forced me to turn around. I said " I'm trying to climb here", when I turned around and saw CJ on one knee. The next thing out of my mouth was "CJ this isn't a funny joke... you told me you didn't have the ring", and I almost turned to start climbing again when he reached inside of his jacket coat pocket, and pulled out a ring!! I was totally in shock! I remember his face smiling at me and he told me how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, how much he loved me, and how excited he was to marry me. I said YES, YES, YES!!! I couldn't believe it... he totally punked me. I believed every word that came out of his mouth... so I really didn't think he had the ring. I was so happy and excited.. and CJ was so nervous and excited he started to put the ring on the wrong hand. We both started laughing and kissing, we were so happy! I shouted from the top of my lungs "I'M ENGAGED!!!!!" This random lady watched it all happen, came up to us after, and wanted to look at my ring... she said "oh, he's a keeper", I couldn't agree more. I just kept looking at my ring and CJ and laughing about how I was punked! CJ told me that he told my dad on Friday, that he had the ring, and that is was going to happen on Sunday when the family was together. That plan didn't happen as planned. CJ wanted it to just be us.. he got nervous and thought about doing it a couple times that day... but it never felt right. We finally climbed and sat up on our rock and watched the sunset together. He sat behind me and wrapped us in a blanket and held me so tight. I was the happiest girl on earth because I am going to marry the best guy in the world, MY CJ!! It was pretty cold and windy, so as soon as the sun set we went to the car. I remember we had to stop and get gas and that is when I kept taking pictures of my ring and sending texts... how he called his mom and family! We both we smiling ear to ear.<br />
<br />
When we came home... I was surprised with a family PARTY! Everyone knew he had the ring, BUT ME, and as soon as we left they went to the store and got sparkling cider and cute cups! I was so excited to show off my ring, and CJ was relieved to finally tell the truth and put the ring on my finger!! The funny thing as I looked back on that day.. I could totally tell that my family was always giving CJ and I space through out the day.. but ALWAYS watching me. I only was watching CJ, so I didn't even thing twice about their weird behaviors. CJ apologized to my grandparents for not asking when I was there.. but my grandma and grandpa loved CJ, so they were so excited! We cracked open the sparkling cider and diet coke, my favorite, and toasted to US! I was going to me the wife to my hunk of a man CJ. I couldn't stop looking at my ring and I couldn't leave CJ's side... we were so happy.<br />
<br />
It was the greatest day of my life. It was the start of our lives together. We were so excited. CJ proposed to me on Easter. He said he wanted to do it on a holiday, so that he would never forget a special date, and remember to celebrate extra. It was the best Easter I could ask for. Each year the day of Easter lands on a different date, but our rule is that we just go off the day of the holiday... and called it good.<br />
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<br />keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-16729334922136750462013-03-20T23:23:00.000-07:002013-03-20T23:23:04.414-07:00Sister Samantha
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The first time that I met CJ (when you guys were actually
admitting to liking and dating each other) was when we met up for lunch at
Chef’s table. I was happy that even
though we were in town for a short time I was going to get to see you, and even
more excited that you wanted to bring a boy!
You Miller girls are always so private about those types of things, so I
knew that you must really like this guy to bring him around. Kyle and I were impressed with him from the
start. I don’t remember everything we
talked about that day, except that I learned that he was a local and grew up in
Provo, that he liked BYU, that he was athletic and liked sports. I remember thinking that he was a nice, normal
guy; that he was confident and funny and witty and smart. I remember leaving really excited and happy
and hoping that he was it for you. I
knew that if you married him, you’d love him like I love Kyle. That we would travel together, the boys would
golf, we’d lay out in the sun, we’d all definitely eat good food. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I remember sitting on your couch one day, talking BYU sports
with Kyle and CJ. He was talking about
how BYU fans were crazy most of the time, and we agreed! And then as if I needed to prove it, I
started saying that at least when BYU does well in sports (talking about BYU
versus U of Utah), it was a missionary tool because people associate BYU with
Mormons, but not so much U of U with Mormons.
Haha He totally didn’t agree, and
I could feel myself getting frustrated with MY own lack of being able to
communicate what I was really trying to say.
So I tried to drop it by leaving the conversation/room, which only made
it more embarrassing because it seemed like I was storming off and mad. So embarrassing. I was slightly devastated because I thought
he was so cool and I liked him so much and I didn’t want him to think I was a
crazy person who was trying to argue with him!
I just wanted to be bffs! Haha<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Imagine my relief when we got together next and he was just
so kind to me and treated me so nice. I
was so relieved that he didn’t hold it against me and I felt like we were
instant friends. And instant
family. I was so grateful. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Both of us being inlaws to the Miller family, I really felt
some solidarity with him when it came to traditions and holidays. I loved that when Thanksgiving came around
and I was still talking about how weird it was that the Millers don’t do rolls
for Thanksgiving- he TOTALLY got it and agreed with me! He was the one that encouraged me to bring
my own traditions and start MAKING ROLLS for Thanksgiving- they were one of his
favorite parts too. And then on
Christmas eve when I was being a little fanatical about us having to do the
nativity before the kids went to bed, CJ was the one person who got it. I remember he said after our makeshift
nativity that he was glad that we did that because it actually made the night
feel like Christmas eve. And even though
I knew I was being stubborn by insisting on the nativity, I loved him for that
comment and that it meant something to him too.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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I loved driving
around that night, just us grownups, before the nativity. When I think of that night I think of all of
us stuffed in a little car, in a drive through, laughing our heads off as I
told Siri “I WANT PIZZA!!!” (Or some other food...I can’t remember
exactly.) All I know is I just told siri
I wanted it and she gave me directions and we all were laughing that it worked,
since it was pretty beasty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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CJ made all of our family outings even more fun and
festive. I remember being on his team in
volleyball, late one night during Thanksgiving break. The game was close, and we circled up for a
team meeting. I looked him in the eyes
and said, “I really want to win” and in equal intensity he looked at me and
said, “I know you do. I want to
too!!” We were all like “let’s do
this!” haha It was an intense game and I
think in the end we won that one! I also think about playing tennis against him
down in Palm springs. We all sucked
compared to him, but even so, he stopped to give me tips on how to hold my
racket so that I could play better. I
remember noticing specifically how kind and<i>
<b>patient</b></i> he was with all of us
Miller girls, really wanting to help us improve our own games and probably amp
up our games against him to give him a little better competition. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I really admired how confident and self-assured he was. If all the Millers were just hanging out at
the house and he wanted to go do something, he wasn’t waiting for permission or
approval of everyone to go. He did what
he wanted, even though he was new to our family. And I seriously loved it. It made me feel less pressure, like if
something didn’t work for me, I didn’t have to do it! You know?
Does that even make sense? I
remember when you guys decided to stay in Palm Desert (even though we were all
leaving and that meant we were going to celebrate New Year’s together without
the two of you), we all laughed, and I remember saying to Kyle, “I love that
even though he’s new to the family, he doesn’t feel pressure to come with all
of us. They want to stay so they are
staying! I didn’t know we could do that! I’m going to start doing that!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel a little gipped, living so far away, having so little
time with CJ. I am beyond grateful for
our crazy Thanksgiving break, staying up until 1 am every night, playing
volleyball, eating maple bars. At the time
I was trying to say goodbye to my 20’s with gusto, and now when I think about
it I’m just so grateful for my midlife crisis because that short time together
was packed to the gills with so much fun. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I feel the same
way about our Christmas break. I’m so
grateful for every minute of that trip; all of the times we all laughed
together. I think about our sledding
trip, and how CJ found those discarded sleds that really made the day fun. The tennis, the swimming, going out to
Babe’s. It was such a fun trip. I loved seeing you so happy. I loved that CJ was a part of our family. I thought he fit in so well and I was so
happy to see you in such a loving and happy relationship. It was obvious that you two were such a great
match. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I know that most of the family ate dinner with CJ at Café
Rio on Feb. 13<sup>th</sup>. Ironically,
the last time I saw CJ was also at Café Rio.
I had decided last minute to stay an extra week in Vista after Christmas
while Kyle flew home to work. One of the
last days I was there, we drove the 45 minutes up to Café Rio so that we could
all meet up one more time before I left.
I remember specifically being grateful that CJ was able to join us, and
he introduced me to a new side dish- some bean dip dish- chile con queso
maybe? I thought it was pretty
hilarious, because, you know, we are all a little beasty. <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> CJ embraced that side of you and the rest of
us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Keri, I’m so sorry that he isn’t here with us anymore. I’ve been thinking about him so much
lately. About our time spent together
and about the devastation of the accident last year. I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve had to
endure. I just want you to know that not
a day goes by where Kyle and I aren’t praying for you. You are included in ALL of our family and
personal prayers. I know you know that
already. I wish I could take your pain away. I know that the only thing that brings me
peace is my knowledge of the plan of salvation and eternal families, and I hope
for you moments and stretches of that same peace. I think you are amazing and so special, and I
know that Heavenly Father and your CJ are so proud of you and love you so
much. We all do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-35508657031541084322013-03-20T23:21:00.001-07:002013-03-20T23:21:08.412-07:00Little Kate and Owen
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Kate:<o:p></o:p></div>
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We would take out cushions and someone would get on the
floor and they were the hot lava monster and when you step on the floor you
have to be the hot lava monster. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Owen-When he was the monster he would get us. He would pull our legs off the cushions so
that we touched the lava. it was so
fun. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kate- He gave us a lot of rides. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Owen- and he plays with us.
Ring around the rosies. Hide and
seek. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kate- One night Bailey and me and Owen were going to get on the
couch and he kept lifting it up and down and up and down. It was a fun ride. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes he jumped on the trampoline with us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Owen- when he’d jump
we’d always fall and it was fun. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kate- I love cj. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-35419821537569192152013-02-15T00:06:00.001-08:002013-02-15T00:06:10.480-08:00My little brother TY<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">Unlike what other family and friends who love and know CJ have wrote, I have not tried to write this over and over. I have done the exact opposite by purposefully ignoring the idea of this for a long time. I have not sat at the computer for days on end trying to figure out the perfect way to write down everything I cherish so much about my brother CJ. I feel childish and stupid for doing this, but I was scared. Scared to remember, scared to cry, scared it wont help, scared to make my sister cry, and scared especially because it makes this awful tragedy all too real again. I still don’t want to accept its real. I still don’t want to hear my sister cry. But I need to write this, for one I told my sister I would and I need to stop being a terrible brother, and two because I really want everyone to know how much I love my sister Keri and her amazing husband CJ. I love you both so much!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">As I have internalized everything starting from the accident one year ago I remember and feel a lot of things. The first and most overwhelming feeling is sad; I Miss CJ! Everyday! I miss Keri and CJ together! The way they smiled at each other, the way CJ laughed at my sisters insanity, the way he would say “that a babe” about every burp or tiny accomplishment Keri would flaunt, the way he openly loved my sister. I miss it all! I miss it because I looked up to it. Being the youngest I have always looked up to my sisters and my brother. They have all been so important in my life and I love them all so much. Keri and CJ was different for me though because unlike the older siblings marriages, their relationship started and developed when I was old enough to understand and appreciate it. Their relationship is the blue print for me of what the perfect couple is and what it should always be, and I want to have that! Everytime I saw them together I was envious of what they had. It was never the toys or clothes they had, (although CJ did have great taste in clothes and shoes and loved to dress fancy and loved to spoil keri in the same way) it was always the laugh they shared that I wanted. They both laughed and had so much fun together all the time. One of my favorite times with them was when we got to play tennis together. I don’t want to brag but me Keri and CJ were clearly the best three in the family when it came to tennis. We three all secretly agreed on this fact but never told the others. I remember one specific time when it was just us three playing tennis and we played this game they made up called points. Id like to say my favorite part was winning, but the thing I remember most is the crazy insane laugh both of them had when they played each other. It always started with Keri trying to hit it super hard back at CJ, and CJ returning it just as hard back at her. The hits would get progressively harder and louder. Then as the rally would continue they both would start to have a crazy/evil laugh filled with excitement and hint of nervous. Neither one of them wanted to lose and both were afraid to be the one to mess up. I miss that laugh, but I will always remember it. Even when they tried to fight over something they laughed together. I can remember another time when I went shopping with Keri, and she decided to buy a new IPAD case because she didn’t like the one they already had. She was so excited to show CJ her new purchase and was the first thing she showed him when she walked in the door. CJ started out rationally by explaining they didn’t need it and at the same time argued that the case they had already was better than the one she just bought. Keri argued that the ipad would fall out and her new better case would hold it in. As the playful bickering continued it once again turned into crazy insane laughing at each other, and ended with CJ winning and Keri jumping on him. They laughed even when they disagreed. I cannot remember one time where they both didn’t laugh and smile at or with each other. I will always smile and have great joy when I remember Keri and CJ, especially their crazy, insane, sometimes slightly evil, and always loving laugh. I will always strive to find that laugh with someone so I can be as happy as them. But I am still sad today, sad because I miss CJ and sad for my sister Keri.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">The second emotion I feel as I think back is enormous gratitude. I am so grateful for everything CJ has done for my sister Keri, my family, and me. This is a tough one for me to put down because I feel my words will not really show how truly grateful I am that CJ married my sister Keri and that I can call him by brother. First I’m grateful because he married my weird one of a kind sister. They were soul mates from the beginning. They lived in a weird world together off on their own and they both loved it so much. Not only did he marry her though, he made her happier than any other person in the world. I could see it in her smile. My sister has always been the unsaid spoiled child in our family, and when she married CJ the spoiling continued and grew. He did anything and everything for Keri and did it all with a smile. I don’t think anything made him happier than the act and process of making Keri happy. I used to always say that Keri was living in a fantasy bubble because she got whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. I loved skyping my sister and hearing about her daily problems consisting of what show to watch on Netflix next or how she was worried because her and CJ would eat out every meal. It was funny because even her problems couldn’t hide that she was so happy all the time. I loved seeing her smile and laugh when we skyped. I also loved how I don’t think I ever once talked to CJ over skype, and that’s because he was always in the background studying and working hard. I am so grateful for his hard work. No matter what the job was, CJ worked harder and studied harder than anyone I knew so he could be the best. I don’t know much about his job, partly because I never really understood the conversations we had about it because he was way to smart for me, but I do know that CJ was the best. I am so grateful that he worked so hard to be the best man he could be, because my sister Keri deserves the best. I am also so eternally grateful for the impact CJ has had in my life. He has been the best role model I could ever have. He has shown me how to work hard, how to play harder, and most importantly how to live the gospel. A year ago when the accident happened, I was not going to church. I never really thought about being mormon for the rest of my life even though I had grown up in the church. I didn’t really care about it. I did know that CJ loved living the gospel everyday, and although I didn’t think about it at the time, I took notice of his true love for the gospel. The days following the accident were the worst days of my life, but amongst the tragedy my heart was softened and open to the feelings of the spirit. In the following weeks I poured my heart out in prayer to my heavenly father asking for guidance. I know without a doubt CJ touched my heart in those moments of prayer. And in those moments I knew that CJ lives once again with Jesus Christ. I knew that CJ wanted me to be better than I was, and I knew that CJ loved me enough to push me to become the person I am today. Today I am preparing to go on a mission to Milan Italy! I wish I could share this excitement with him, I know he is so happy for me. Through CJs amazing example of his life here on earth I know how to live the gospel. I will live the gospel for the rest of my life. I am so eternally grateful for CJ. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of eternal families. I love my brother CJ so much and look forward to the day when I get to be side by side with him once again, living and loving the gospel together.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">The last thing I feel and remember about CJ is love. I love CJ. I love my family. I love my sister Keri. CJ too shared these common loves with me. I want to explain why I feel love is so important when I remember CJ through a couple stories. The first reminds me how much CJ loves his family. I was with my family visiting Keri for her graduation. After the graduation CJ invited us over to his moms house. The first thing I remember was that as soon as we walked in CJ hugged his mom. He loves his mom with all his heart. It was clear to me as im sure it was to everyone else that CJ has an amazing ability to love, especially his family. The next thing I remember is how instantly the get together became a sports competition. CJ was the ring leader and got everyone, from the smallest nephew to the oldest brother, and started a basketball game. CJ tried hard, as he did with everything, to win, but even more impressive was how excited he got for when anyone else scored. If anyone else got anywhere close to doing something impressive CJ would show his excitement for you. He has an amazing ability to make those around him feel so loved by him, and I think the reason is because he earnestly loved each and every family member with all his heart. I can still picture CJ picking up his little nephew Milo and running around with him after he scored a basket. The excitement and love he has for his family is beyond measurable. I miss seeing his love for others in person. I miss feeling his love towards me and my family. I know his love continues towards each of his family members everyday.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">The last story of love is particularly special to me. Its not how I remember CJ loving me or my family, but how I will always remember him loving my sweet sister Keri. The one thing I loved immediately when I heard of CJ was that he was an avid golfer. I love golf and I was so excited to have a new friend to play with. I was also kind of nervous because I had heard rumors that CJ was really good, like really good. So knowing this, the first time meeting CJ I wanted to play golf to see if the rumors were true. Being CJ he was already way ahead of me, within the first couple hours of meeting him CJ he had already set up a tee time for the following morning. So the next morning just me and CJ drove to the golf course together. When we got their he scrambled ahead of me quickly and paid for me golf before I even had a chance to. That’s just how CJ did things, he wanted everyone to be happy. So with high expectations and all we teed off the first hole. CJs very first drive was awful! Hit it way left and barely stayed in bounce. I didnt have a much better drive, but still I was not impressed so far, the legend of CJ was not so great. I also remember vividly chipping in on the first hole to make par while CJ struggled for Bogey. I remember that CJ was kinda frustrated and didn’t realize I chipped in, and thought it was funny because it wasn’t the usual way to start off a golf round. The next couple holes were both funny and awkward to me. Funny because CJ was continuing to play terrible. The first 5 holes he hooked his drive really bad left. I thought it was funny, but it was also kinda awkward because I didn’t know at the time, but CJ is extremely competitive. And when he doesn’t play how he wants to he gets extremely frustrated. After every tee shot he would scream with frustration and then walk to his ball practicing his swing because he could not figure it out. This continued until the 6<sup>th</sup> hole when upon arriving on the tee box his phone rang. I didn’t think he was gonna pick it up because he was still just so mad at himself and everything. Once he picked up his phone I immediately knew who it was. Now up to this point I was still not sure how much CJ really loved my sister, they weren’t married yet and he could just be some guy for all I knew. That all changed when he picked up the phone. “Hey babe” is all it took for CJ to change frustration around. I can still intensely picture the smile CJ had as he talked to my sister keri on the golf course that day. Im not sure what he talked about, I do know that he laughed at keri over the phone in the way only CJ could, he smiled more than he had all day while on the phone, and that he ended his phone call by saying I love you. In that moment I knew that CJ loved my sister more than anything else. Keri and only Keri is the one thing that could make CJ smile that way. I saw an angry, yelling, and frustrated CJ go from mad to smiling with one phone call. He loved Keri so much that even angry super competitive CJ couldn’t be mad at the sound of her voice. That is the first time I saw CJs love for my sister Keri. I will always keep that moment close to my heart. I am still amazed today, especially as I got to know CJ more, that he was able to love one person so much. I cherish the time I spent golfing with CJ, he beat me I think every time, but I still loved it. But more than that I admire his ability to love my sister as only he could. I know that CJ is Keris soul mate. I know that his love for her is deeper than I will ever know. And I also know that CJ today, just as he did on that golf course, smiles and loves keri more and more with each passing moment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">I am sad everyday that CJ passed away, it doesn’t seem fair. I am also grateful for his impact that he has had on my family and me personally. And more than anything I love CJ and will miss him dearly until we meet again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">So Keri and everyone else who loves CJ, be sad because we miss him just as he misses and is sad for us. Be grateful for the time we had with such an amazing friend, brother, son, and husband. And love everyone around you just as CJ did everyday of his life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;">CJ,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18px;"> I love you. I miss you. I AM GOING ON A MISSION!!!! I know your just as exited for me as I am. And I know we will meet again.</span></div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-51359778724747158052013-02-14T00:45:00.001-08:002013-02-14T01:04:56.131-08:00365 days without you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Valentines day, a day we never liked, and we always said we loved each other every day; we didn't need a day to make it extra special Last valentines day I remember waking up to CJ giving me a kiss and saying " happy valentines day!". The night before we were just taking about how we would just hang out together at home, no big plans, and I told him all I needed was him and I was perfect. I thought about maybe cutting our sandwiches in a heart shape and surprise him, since I brought him lunch every day to work. I got up and went to the bathroom half asleep and as I was walking back to bed, with my eyes half open, CJ laid a good one one me and said "did you know I love you?' He was extra awake and spunky. I heard him get ready and watched him shave in the mirror of the bathroom. He was my handsome babe. He got ready and then out the door he went, just like any other day… but it was the last time I told my CJ I love him. Living only three block from work, CJ biked to work because he loved riding his bike and it was a sunny day. I wish I could go back and change it all… I have so many flash backs of this day.. and this horrible nightmare I wish I was dreaming. It has been 365 days… the longest days of my life. The HARDEST days of my life. I want it to go away and I want US back. I love my CJ… more than words can describe.</div>
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One Year. It is unreal to me. How can he be gone? He still feels so alive in my heart….</div>
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I miss laughing with him, he always made me laugh. I miss the way he looked at me.. like I was the only person in the world to him. I loved it. When we would be in a group of people, and somehow, I would find him in the room and he would just be grinning at me, with "that grin" where I felt so much LOVE from him. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to be loved by that cute guy across the room, that he was mine. I miss just him driving the car and holding his hand. I loved holding his hand, he had good looking hands. I am not just saying that because I love everything about him.. but he really had some great hands. He could have been a hand model. I miss the text saying "good morning lover butt" in the mornings when he knew I would just be waking up. I miss bringing him lunch, I loved waiting for him at our picnic table right outside his work… I would just wait until I saw that big smile walking out the doors. He would act all professional, until he got outside and would give me his crazy face and I would always get butterflies waiting for my handsome. I miss our "freakin weekends"! Every friday at about 4:55 I would get a text saying "its the freakin weekend" and how he wanted to take me on a cute date. We lived for the weekends because they were days we could be with each other EVERY SECOND! How on saturdays we slept hard!! I never used to sleep in late, but CJ taught me how to sleep in, and I loved it because I would wake up to my best friend. I loved how we could just lay there for hours together, not wanting to move, and being totally ok with it. I miss going to play tennis with my buddy, we were playing like 3-4 times a week…and I haven't even had the courage yet to play with our fancy rackets CJ bought us. My mind goes back to our last weekend together. How I spent every second with him doing our favorites together. I could go on for pages and pages of what I miss… I miss so much. What I miss most is that CJ took care of me, how I knew no matter what I did, he would laugh and tell me its ok. How life used to be so happy and full… I knew what I wanted most.. to be a mom. How we would talk about how we would be that mom and dad dancing in the kitchen to our techno music… how we were going to be the cool parents. I miss seeing CJ light up with kids. How he loved talking about how he would be that dad that coached his boys after work, how he was going to be such a good dad. THIS is what breaks me the most. How it was taken away, and now I don't know what my purpose is. I have never prayed so hard in my life to my Heavenly Father for comfort…There is. CJ and I will be that mom and dad dancing together with our kids. We will be able to have our family… it is such a comfort to know that the promises we made in the temple will continue and we will have that chance. I love how in the scriptures is says "whatsoever is sealed on earth will be sealed in heaven.." That is a promise, and our Heavenly Father keeps his promises</div>
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I have a lot of hard, down days… some days where I think I can't make it, some days (more like moments) I think I can.. and in one second I am a wreck. The only thing that is constant is that I LOVE HIM. I am so blessed to have him. I am so blessed to have amazing families. They have been with me every step of this journey, we are all in it together, and I am so grateful for the support they have given me. I truly don't know how people go through this would without family and the eternal perspective that the gospel gives us. Our friends have been there for me too. They come pick me up and take me out… even when I don't want to, but they want to get me out. They make me smile when I don't want to. CJ's friends have been checking in on me and taking me out too because they know CJ wouldn't want me to sit in bed all day… I am one of the boys now, and they have all just taken me under their arms. I can't describe how thankful I am for mine and CJ's family. I cannot express how much Love I have for them and for our friends… They have lifted me up. Even complete strangers have reached out to me and have been praying for me, those emails have gotten me through the day… I am so loved, and I feel it.</div>
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I am not trying to win the favorite aunt award, but my little Chunk, Brooklynn is a true little angel to me. She is so close to the spirt, and knows when "kewi" is having a hard time. She is CJ's little girlfriend and I know he tells her to give me extra love. I love all my nieces and nephews… SO MUCH. Chunk has just really been my little buddy. Sometimes when I bring her up to my room she will just say CJ and go give his picture a kiss. Then when we leave my room she says bye-bye CJ and blows him a kiss. I know she feels him close. That is why I love little kids because they are so more aware of the spirit, the veil is so much thinner, and I hold on to them and try to soak that in. Even bailey girl, I just see her sitting right in front of a picture of CJ, just looking at him. When I have been at my lowest, Brooklynn sat next to me and patted my back (she isn't even two years old) I think she just laid on me because that was the closest she could get to me, and wouldn't leave my side. ALL my family.. ALL my nieces and nephews, I love so much... CJ did too.</div>
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I have met amazing girls. Beautiful girls, who are in the same situation as I am, who have lost their husbands too. How their strength has really helped me. How I am not the only one… my heart breaks for all of us. I wish no one had to feel this pain, but it is so comforting to talk to them, they get it. People have been placed in my path, and I am so grateful for them. I know we meet people for a reason, and I have made some of the most amazing friends. Eternal friends that will continue. I know their husbands watch over us, and their husbands have helped my CJ too. They are with us… and will be until we come home to them.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Noteworthy-Light; font-size: 15px; line-height: 15px;">I look back on this year… and with tears, I can say I did it, even when I didn't want to go on. I have loved my CJ </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Noteworthy-Light; font-size: 15px; line-height: 15px;">every single second of every day… and I feel our love growing stronger each day. I am so grateful that I LOVE</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Noteworthy-Light; font-size: 15px; line-height: 15px;"> YOU were the last words we said to each other. I am so grateful I am married to my CJ for ETERNITY…I just</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Noteworthy-Light; font-size: 15px; line-height: 15px;"> wish this chapter of our love story didn't come so soon. We just barely started it. I wouldn't trade it for anything…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Noteworthy-Light; font-size: 15px; line-height: 15px;">CJ is worth it. I really believe that we were made for each other. soul-mates. Even though our first chapter is short, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Noteworthy-Light; font-size: 15px; line-height: 15px;">it is filled to the brim, and it is the happiest chapter, and will be the happiest until I return to my CJ.</span></div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-64551133603373201012013-02-13T22:02:00.002-08:002013-02-13T22:02:52.249-08:00Feb 13All day today I would text CJ, you miss me? He always responded with "HARD". I loved text bombing him, and calling him over and over... even though I knew he was at work. It made me smile because I could totally see CJ looking at his phone shaking his head laughing at me, his crazy wife, it made me happy. I wish I brought him lunch, but I didn't, I was with my sister Toni and we had the girls; Bailey and Brooklynn (lil chunk). So I called him on lunch break to see if he was fed, he walked across the street to this Armenian food, I forget the name, he liked it. I went there one lunch with him to try it out.. CJ always loved his ethnic food.. I soon did too once we started dating.<br />
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Finally, CJ was off of work and we were going to take the girls, meet Kaci and Brian, and go eat at Cafe Rio. I texted CJ we were passing our exit, and he was on his way. We went and sat in the corner... waiting for everyone to get there. I sat so I could see the door, to know when CJ would walk up. I saw him park and walk up to the door. He was wearing his DARDEN sweatshirt, is great sweatpants, blue converse, and his Boston Red Sox hat... with the biggest smile. He saw me before he walked through the doors, and we just looked at each other laughing.. all the way till I got up to give him the biggest hug and kiss. He was ready to eat. We waited in line.. Brian ordered extra pork, CJ was totally pumped for that order, we got our chips and queso (our go to), and Diet coke for me.. Coke Zero for my babe. We just ate. Bailey wanted to sit next to uncle "chee j" and little Brooklynn would not keep her eyes off of her boyfriend, Uncle CJ. I always told CJ she was his little girlfriend. I can just see her and here little teeth popping though with that huge smile looking and laughing at CJ. After we were in the parking lot, switching the car seats to Brian's car. CJ just took that little chunk and started to spin her towards me.. making her laugh. I loved watching him hold her, he loved kids, and it always melted my heart. Once we had to buckle the girls up.. Bailey had to unbuckle and come around to give her Uncle CJ one more hug. We walked to our car, ready to go home together. I loved driving in the car with CJ. He loved jamming out to his new songs. Tonight, he was on his techno kick. We listened to Rhianna- we found love and our favorite of all Let me think about it- Ida Corr. I just remember rocking out.. CJ was doing some serious chest pumps.. and getting a little swirvy on the freeway.. we had to collect ourselves a little to get it together.<br />
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We parked and on the ride up in elevator... CJ just broke it down.. hoping that there was a camera in the elevator and that the people watching would get a kick. I loved it when CJ got into his slutty girl dance mode. I just watch and laugh.. it encouraged him to get more crazy. We walked though our doors and every time we did, we laughed because we still had boxes out.. we never really unpacked. We called it our Benjamin Button life... we ate in the kitchen and slept/watched shows in our bed. Simple and happy. CJ had to study a little bit before we could watch our Downton Abbey together. CJ watched it the night before but loved it so much and was so excited for me to see what happened, we watched it again. We just talked in bed for a long time. Talked about how we didnt want to do anything for Valentines day.. I told him I just wanted to be with him, and I would be happy. That is all we wanted to do.<br />
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We read our scriptures, said our prayers together, and kissed each other good night. I went to bed happy every night because I was next to my dream boat. My CJ.keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-57282344800473347792013-02-12T23:13:00.001-08:002013-02-12T23:13:46.542-08:00Feb 12Today.. we pressed the snooze on the alarm to get ready for church. Waking up was always a struggle for us, 9am church didn't help, and we would always rush to get ready. CJ always claimed he could get ready faster than I could. I always won. He always did his fancy tie, cuff links, tie the shoes, belt.. he had a lot going on. Today he wore his wedding suit to church. I loved it when he wore that suit, he looked so HANDSOME in it.. always reminded me of when we got married. We were late to church, the usual, but this sunday was extra crowded because there was a missionary speaking, so we did the walk of shame to the front row, right in the center. I was so nervous all Sunday because I had to teach my lesson.. CJ just held my hand and said he would come teach it for me. I almost took him up on it. In church we played the word game on our hand (usually wrote on the back, but we were front row, people were watching). We made up our own "hand squeeze" language.. where we would squeeze each others hand and have a conversation. It always ended with 3 squeezes and one HARD... translation I LOVE YOU... HARD. We would always see who could squeeze the hardest and make is not noticeable in our facial expressions, my whole body would get into it. and we both would start to laugh. We did this the entire sacrament. Sunday school came next.. I sat there and listened, trying to focus on the lesson and stressing about teaching the next hour. The next thing I know, CJ is making a comment and I just remember holding his hand and thinking to myself.. yup, thats my husband. I loved it when he made comments, because he had so much scripture knowledge, his comments were always so powerful. After Sunday school, CJ walked me to the Young Women room and gave me a little pep talk and a kiss for good luck. I did it, I taught the lesson. I was nervous and sweaty.. and I only taught 5 girls.. I just always get so nervous. I was so grateful for CJ and all his notes.. I still have them, and look at them. The lesson was about keeping the spirit with us. When I was done.. I just opened the door to find CJ, and there he was waiting for me in the hall. Leaning against the wall with that little smirk on his face... He brought so much peace and calmness to my madness... I told him about how I was nervous, but I think I did ok... he just laughed at me, told me I did fine. I always remember holding his hand, I love holding his hand, it was sunny and we walked to our car together hand in hand. Then we were a bit beasty... and changed quickly to the topic of what we were going to eat as soon as we got home. We were good eaters. We didn't even bother to change out of our church clothes.. we walked into the kitchen and started pulling out all the snacks we could find.. in the middle of the raiding the kitchen.. CJ just stopped me.. and kissed me, and told me from the bottom of his heart how much he loved me. He melted my heart... while I was stuffing my face, he still loved me through all my craziness. I remember it all very clear. CJ told me he loved me.. so much, and I am so grateful to be sealed to the most amazing man, and be loved by him.<br />
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That night... one of my most proud moments of CJ is when he called me and told me that he cooked a rice a toni box.... the family size box, and ate the ENTIRE THING! First of all, CJ could eat.. so that part didn't surprise me as much. MY CJ cooked! All by himself! I was laughing so hard. I then asked if he did the dishes? His response: No, I just put them in the pile and saved them for later. We loved saving the dishes for later...<br />
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oh life.. Like it was yesterday. I just know how much love I always felt from my sweet husband. How we always made each other laugh, how every moment... I miss. I love my CJ more than words can express.keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-8948818351255964202013-02-10T23:26:00.001-08:002013-02-12T02:07:42.207-08:00Feb 11<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">We slept in today, slept in hard. Went and played tennis for couple hours, CJ won points, our game we made up. We went for a bike ride and got my racquet restrung across the street at the sports authority. After, we went and rode on the bike path to get lunch at TOGO's.. We watched basketball inside, that new guy was a big deal.. On our way home we just laughed and tried to get home fast because it started to rain on us. Hung out.. I watched CJ study and bugged him to play. Our usual Saturday activity. Got ready for our date! CJ and I went to Laguna and watched the most amazing sunset and I remember standing behind him, so he blocked the wind, and just loved being close to him. We held hands and walked the board walk and came to a pizza place for dinner. I loved date night with my babe. Came home and watched a movie.. Our Benjamin button life. An entire day with CJ.. A perfect day. I felt so much love and happiness with my husband. He is so good to me. #ilovemycj the days get closer and my heart is so full of love for you.</span><br />
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CJ told me to smile.. I don't do self portraits. We stood there and watched all these high school kids posing for a group pictures for a dance. CJ tried to stand behind me to block the wind, but I quickly switched spots and got right up behind him. I put my head on his shoulder and we watched the sunset, our favorite, go down. We went and got pizza and diet coke. Coke Zero for my CJ. We walked back to our car hand in hand and were excited to just go home and watch a movie together.</div>
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After our show, I was stressed because I had to teach my first lesson in Young Women's, and I get nervous. CJ stayed up with me till like 2am.. going over bullet points, helping me find scriptures, and references to used for my lesson. He was so excited for me.. he said he would come teach it for me if I wanted him to, bless his heart, he was always so good to me; my spiritual giant. I loved how he just lit up and was always so ready to help me.</div>
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kissed each other good night and said i love you.. every night and every morning.</div>
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keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-4249056994443652502013-01-29T00:09:00.000-08:002013-01-29T00:09:27.917-08:00Little man<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I fall in love with CJ with each picture, at all ages, of him. This one melts my heart. He is the same... just a little man. He still looked exactly like this. My little man.keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-76796253211679214912013-01-29T00:01:00.001-08:002013-01-29T00:01:33.715-08:00engagement pictures.. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I look at pictures. I am so grateful we have so many. These I found again.. and fell in love again.. I remember taking these. The whole time we were just laughing because we didn't know what to do. We were told to just be ourselves and he took pictures "in the moment". We were always in our own world together... I love him.keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-43737235487124484222013-01-24T00:57:00.000-08:002013-01-24T00:57:03.962-08:00My Dancing CJ<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I watch this OVER and OVER and OVER again! One thing that I was always SO PROUD and would brag about to people I met, is that my CJ was a good dancer. I think it is the most attractive thing, well not the most, but I love it with my WHOLE HEART <3<div>
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CJ and I would always have dance parties... basically I would watch him, while I two stepped. When we were dating we would just go dancing, just the two of us, all the time. Even when we were married, we went to vegas and danced at the clubs. We would just be in our own world.. but I have such EYES for my CJ... He would laugh at my two step. The best is when I would come come and I would find CJ in complete sweat in front of the mirror with his Dr. Dre Beats on... "workin it out" I would just stand and watch until he noticed I was there. He would be so happy to show me this new move me made up or that he found on youtube, with the biggest smile, and give me a sweaty hug. Every day I knew when he would come home because I could hear his music on speaker... walking in with his music and dancing until he gave me the biggest kiss and it would turn into a dance party in the kitchen. Just the two of us... Just what I love most, US!</div>
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Some days are harder than others... I just miss him, I miss being a nerd with him, I miss being truly happy with him by my side.<br /><br /></div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-59630162228710137552013-01-24T00:37:00.001-08:002013-01-24T00:37:48.363-08:00Lance HewittThe other day I got a text message from a friend telling me he went to visit Lance, a man from our ward in Salt Lake. He took a picture of him next to a picture of CJ he had hanging in his apartment.<br />
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He said "man, I really miss CJ. You know I really prayed that CJ could be there with me the day I was baptized. He was so influential on me and I really thought I felt him there!"<br />
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When I saw the picture and read the text, tears of pure love ran down my face. I LOVE my CJ and how much he loved the gospel. How his life here impacted so many people... and it still does. I know that CJ was with Lance on the day he was baptized. He always told me how much he truly loved Lance, and what a great man he is.keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-87093820695915148182013-01-01T18:38:00.001-08:002013-01-01T18:38:25.416-08:00Cody McAllister<br />
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I read your most recent post and I felt the heart strings pull me in this direction. I will always remember the Legend in the England leeds mission known as elder Rhineer.</div>
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I remember a story!!!, I went on splits with him once as he was the Assistant to the President and I had found this REALLY REALLY OLD ANCIENT Golf club weeks before. Like I think it was made of wood or something. Well once he laid eyes on it I could swear he was in love and I didn't even know he played golf. I think he held it in his hands every minute we were in the flat. I gave to him because I knew he loved it about a million times more than I did. I remember sleeping well that night because he worked me harder than I had ever done my entire mission.</div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-38379812307643719912012-12-17T23:00:00.001-08:002012-12-17T23:00:09.985-08:00Happy Birthday to the one I LOVE!!Today is CJ's birthday, the 18th.. the BIG 29. I feel sick to my stomach even saying that, he is so young. All I want to do is lay in bed all day.. and feel sorry about myself, but that would be opposite of who CJ is and what he would want me to do.. he was always on the go, and always the life of the party. So today, I am doing things for my CJ, even though every second I am crying inside. He had so much love and life in him, he rubbed off on everyone he came across. I miss that.<br />
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Last year, CJ and I were in Chicago. We woke up... after we slept in- CJ's favorite. Then we had to hurry and make it to the breakfast... because it was getting close to lunch hours menus only (we slept pretty hard). We went to breakfast in the city, at this berry pancake place across the street, kiddy corner, from that bean thing, it was delish.. CJ always was down for a good meal, he loved his food.. Probably why we both put on "love" weight.. that is what we liked to call it, after we got married. We just walked around this city for a while before we had to get on our plane back to CA. CJ was telling me OUR game plan in life, and how he wanted to live in Chicago after he passed all of his CFA tests, so about a year, and then go to BOOTH to get his MBA. It was a school that was right behind the Fidelity Branch right downtown in the Chicago. He had it all mapped out on where we would live and how he would go to school right after work since it was so close. We went and got him a sweatshirt to motivate him.. he always wanted to learn and get better. He also talked about how we would move to Boston after that so that he could get his PHD. I loved how driven he was.. he always got what he wanted because he worked so hard. I loved watching him, I was his #1 fan and was ready for our adventure together. As soon as we came home, in CA, I got out his presents and made him smile.. because I liked to "capture moments". CJ used to fight it.. but by this point, he just embraced it and smiled for me. He turned 28.<br />
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The year before that.. CJ woke up early to go play basketball at our church, up across the street, with the guys from our ward. CJ always loved to play basketball.. I think partially because the guys in the ward thought he was an all star. I mean CJ was a stud, he did make 3 pointers for days, and he is so QUICK... he was good... I loved going to watch him play.. but these guys made him feel like he was walking on water. I laughed at him all the time. So while he was out playing.. I made a cute sign at work and strung it across out kitchen and went to get CJ's favorite Jonny Kolache's, this hole in the wall place in Salt Lake, while he was playing. I picked out all his favorites and thought I timed it perfectly for him to come home so they would still be HOT. False, he played like an hour longer... I was pacing for him to come home, so excited for him to take a picture by my sign and surprise him with all his TREATS! Finally... he came home and we had our own little birthday party- he was surprised... "dats my BABE" I can hear him staying that to me with a huge smile and arms out, waiting for me to come in for the "real deal". After, we headed down to Provo to hang out with his family.. CJ always loved being with his family and I loved that so much. A family man... always looking out for everyone. We all ate at his favorite mexican place El Azteca and he spent it with the people he loved most! (quoted from our blog- <span style="text-align: center;">cj said no party... he just wanted to go to provo and hang out with his family. so that is what we did.. went to lunch with them...) For dinner we met his best friend Joe at the communal, in Provo, for their annual birthday dinner... </span>even though we were not even that hungry.. it was the principle to go out to eat, so we ATE.. haha He turned 27.</div>
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The birthday before that is the year I gave CJ is Boston Red Sox bowling ball. When we were dating we went to fat cats probably twice a week (a bowling place in Provo). We went enough times that we made friends with the workers and they knew us on a first name basis when we came in. So I decided I would step CJ's game up for him and get a custom bowling ball. Plus, what did I get a guy that had everything... being a poor college kid working at Macaroni Grill?? A BOWLING BALL- duh. To top it off with the classy gift, I went streamer crazy in his room with balloons and his favorite treats. It was one I was proud of and put a happy birthday sign on his door! I thought I was a clever girlfriend. I think he even left the streamers up a couple days so I could appreciate my work. Totally unexpected.. he liked it. It was a game changer for sure. He turned 26.<br />
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I remember everything like it was YESTERDAY.. dating.. engaged.. married. It really is so unreal to me. Sometimes I just get so caught up with ONE MILLION thoughts in my head... I just have to stop and the bottom line, the ONE thing that makes sense is... I just LOVE him. I love him so much and it is really hard without him. I am so grateful that I can look back and all I really see is how happy we were together. The happiest. It is that love that will keep me going, even when I don't want to, and the light at the end of the tunnel. I know he loves me, he wouldn't go a day without telling me! I love you CJ!<br />
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Happy birthday to the one I love the MOST!! Cheers to my babe, 29!<br />
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<br />keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-3492016343896996092012-12-08T08:05:00.001-08:002012-12-08T08:05:18.033-08:00Sister Krystal Middleton (Nydegger) <br />
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I spent a few minutes today digging through my box of mission picture in hopes of finding a few with your husband, but I came up with only two, both huge groups shots from zone conference that you probably also have a copy of. So then I spent a few minutes digging through my memory. After 8 years and two children, memories have sure faded, but my memories of Elder Rhineer are fond. I served in Leeds as an "office sister" when Elder Rhineer was AP, so I saw him fairly regularly. I was at first, somewhat intimidated by his status as AP and his all-business attitude. I felt I had to be on my best behavior when he was around. Of couse I quickly learned that my first impressions were not entirely correct. Upon getting to know him better I saw his fun-loving side. I remember joking around at the mission office regularly. I wish I had a more concrete memory to share with you. The quality that stands out most in my memory, is his kindness. He never spoke unkindly of anyone. </div>
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It was fun to be in the mission office to see how it all worked, especially at transfer time. I had expressed to Elder Rhineer and Elder Chell that I had always wanted to serve in South Shields because it was only sister's area that included beaches. They teased me and told me it wasn't very likely. Of course the changes are directed by the spirit, and the mission pres, but I know the APs had a hand in it too... I remember seeing a mischievous grin on Elder Rhineer's face when I found out I would be finishing my mission in South Shields.</div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-43752707333256568582012-11-13T20:50:00.000-08:002012-11-14T04:45:55.410-08:00Nine months <span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Nine months.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Nine months. 274 hardest and loneliest days without my best friend. I still cannot even believe this is real life. I am just waiting for CJ to walk though the door with his big smile. I am waiting for my heart to skip a beat when I see his face light up a room. For my heart to stop aching.. For us to be us again. Then it hits and it starts to register and I feel like the tears will never end. I never do want them to end. I want to feel it all.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">The past nine months I've continued to read, write in my journal, go to the temple and get on my knees and pray. My family has taken care of me.. Without them, I would still be in bed. Crying all day long. Right now I am in Mexico, on a Book of MormonMormon I don't have a choice. I get up every day for him. I have moments, daily where the tears will pour and my heart feels so heavy. Traveling triggers a lot of emotions because CJ wanted to show me the world. My life just still feels still and very upside down. It's a constant mental battle to not think too much. . </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Still, I don't understand why this could happen (i never think i will) but I am so comforted to know that we are sealed for ETERNITY. That doesn't make the hurt to away.. It's constant, but, it is that little speck of light that I see at the end of this long tunnel. The gospel is true. The temple sealing is a bond that cannot break.. He is waiting for me. CJ loves me and I know that with no doubt in my mind. I sat with Elder Holland and he told me that I am CJ's #1 priority and that he is with me always and loves more than I can understand. I am so lucky to know that he will always be my husband and I will always be his wife.. For eternity. I wish that could start sooner.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Yes, it is still a continual struggle daily to function, but I can see tiny baby steps that I have done. For one, I eat. I've gone to 4 weddings. Being a bridesmaid in two of them.. it was HARD, but at the same time I am so happy our friends finally get to see how amazing and wonderful marriage is. I miss it. I have learned to have empathy for those who mourn in the deepest way... A new love for those around me and for those who I haven't even met. I feel I am seeing people more how CJ did... And how my Heavenly Father and my savior does. I can really see what is important here.. The gospel, eternal families, and loving relationships. To not live in regret.. I know that my CJ lived his life to the fullest. How I need to keep that alive in me.. But, in baby steps.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">I love my CJ. I love him so much. I love how much he loves me and how he showed me and told me daily. Nine months.. I can't even think about it with our getting overwhelmed with tears and sadness. My love for him has grown and it will always grow because it isn't the end. I Love this quote: "loving relationships continue beyond the doors of death and judgement. Family tie s endure because of dealings in the temple. Their importance cannot be overstated." - Elder Scott</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Everything will be alright in the end.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">So if it's not all right. It's not the end.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">- unknown</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">It's not the end, and I am grateful for eternity with the man I love... (Easier said than done.. I want him here and now.. But in the end.. I will never leave his side AGAIN)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">I am so grateful for all the prayers.. For the support and love that surrounds me. For the people who have been put in My paths.. And for new friendships. I know we meet some people for a reason.. And I know CJ is searing me there.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Sent from my iPhone</span>keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-51578098669739889352012-10-21T21:56:00.001-07:002012-10-21T21:56:13.515-07:00Stoneground - Natalie Moore<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The other night my little family ventured downtown to grab some grub. We ended up at Stoneground for the first time in a long time. As Gage amazed me with the mess he could make in such a short amount of time, and as Asher continued to drool puddles, I was quickly reminded of why I refuse to take the kids out to dinner with me. Suddenly, it occurred to me the last time I was here, things were oddly similar but ended very differently. You see, the last time we were here eating, you and I had spontaneously purchased groupons while at work just because we were hungry. Typical, I know. Excitedly, we grabbed our men and met up at stoneground for a night out and some pizza. Just as it was the other night, I had a drooling baby attached to my hip. Gage got impatient sitting in the high chair, and whined most of the night. CJ reassured me it wasn't a problem. When the mess and the cries persisted, I came closer and closer to giving up. Just then I noticed CJ sweetly begin to sneak Gage pieces of crust. My little guy ferociously ate every piece. After sharing for most of the night, CJ began to laugh, you know the one, the contagious laugh that makes you never want to stop. In between chuckles he called Gage "a beast" and told us how much he likes beasts. It turns out, over the course of the night CJ had fed Gage a whole pizza crust. I loved that about CJ, he could give any situation a reason to laugh about, even a beastly baby. "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: -webkit-left;">The most wasted of all days is that in which we have not laughed." ~Chamfort. I don't doubt that CJ went even a day without laughing. He laughed, he lived, he loved. I'm grateful I got to witness that. Missing you two.</span></span>keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-89872254585823495172012-10-20T23:09:00.000-07:002012-10-20T23:16:12.661-07:00My sister Tera<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">My sweet sister Keri</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">This email has been partially written for about 7 months now, and I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">can't stop thinking about it, and my defining CJ moment. It has been</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">so nice to have you close by Ker, you always have a place here if you</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">want a break from home. I'm a selfish person, what can I say...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">When I think of CJ, I can't help but smile, no matter how I may feel, no</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">matter how much I miss him, I have to smile. I have to smile because he</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">made you smile and that was the most important thing. I have never seen you</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">happier than when you were with your prince charming - CJ.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">I always thought you two were equally crazy and so in love with each</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">other, I felt lucky to be a part of it all and witness such an amazing</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">relationship. You two knew how to live life to the fullest, you did</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">more together than most do in a lifetime together. I love you so much,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">I love your CJ, I miss him and I miss you two.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Here is my CJ moment, this is the moment that KNEW that CJ was perfect</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">for you. At this time you were just dating and had been friends for a</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">long time now. It was when the entire family was in Utah for your</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">graduation. We all had a great day, come time to go celebrate your big</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">accomplishment, in typical Miller fashion, we had no idea of what we</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">wanted to go do, just that we wanted to go do something. How are we</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">all so indecisive????</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">As we were all hanging out at your place, getting ready, not knowing</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">what we were getting ready for, the stress of the moment hit you. With</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">the entire family looking to you for some answer, a meltdown was in</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">the making. You had a "Keri moment" (we love you and your moments,)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">none of us knew what to do/say to help. We just wanted you to be happy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">and have a good time on your big day, and here comes CJ...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">CJ to rescue. He walked into your bedroom (where all of us were</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">crammed, which made it pretty tight in your baby room), saw you having</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">a moment and that we were not helping at all. He made sure he had your</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">attention, put his loving arms around you and in that moment, I saw</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">you melt into him. You suddenly were calm, CJ swooped you away, away</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">from all of us and with your CJ by your side you both came back and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">plan was made.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">We had such an amazing time at the Jazz game that night and CJ made</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">that happen. He was by your side until he had you completely calm and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">happy. At the same time he made sure to make all of us feel important</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">and that we could get to know him.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Since this I have had so many special memories with you and CJ. My</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">other favorite moments are playing tennis. I know you two played hard,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">a lot, and were real good. You come to California and want to play, so</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">of course I join. CJ made me feel like I am good at tennis, he would</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">hit right to me every time, setting me up perfectly, and sometimes I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">would return it to him, and make him run across court. He would be so</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">patient, show me how to hold the racket and once again, make me feel</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">good. Then, I would watch the two of you play and realize how easy he</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">was playing for me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">You two were truly made for each other, complete soulmates, you loved</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">each other so hard. You two set the high standard for what a marriage</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">should look like, and how to love and not hold back. I miss CJ, I miss</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">his laugh, his dance moves and I miss seeing you glow when you are</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">with him.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">Ker Mae, I love you so so much, I am lucky to be your sister, you are</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: Helvetica;">an amazing example in so many ways, I need to be more like you.</span></div>
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-19687049183903597082012-10-13T21:41:00.001-07:002012-10-13T21:41:16.535-07:00Jeff Allen<br />
Keri,<br />
<br />
So on Wednesday I interviewed for the same job CJ did a year ago. Your instagram picture brought this to Heidi and my attention. Kind of a crazy coincidence. And today I heard that I will start in that new position. All the while I recognize the impact that CJ has had on this journey and my life in general. I am so grateful for not only CJ prompting me to apply to Fidelity but the relationship we developed through our career ambitions. He wasn't a childhood friend or even a college buddy, but he has played a very important role in my success over the last two years. He was a guy that I truly looked up to. He was a guy that I went to when I had questions. He was always positive and had something to tell me that gave me confidence about where I was headed. He always wanted to help and I always admired that about him. I remember one messaging conversation that we had about a year ago where he was talking about your trip to Chicago and being back east around the holidays and how important and fun that was for you. He always talked highly of your relationship and wasn't afraid to tell me that he loved you and had a great time doing the holiday season stuff back east. Anyways I just want to let you know that I continually think about you. I have no idea what it must be like day in and day out for you, but I do know that you have a lot to be proud of having been married to CJ. Heidi and I pray and think of you daily. Thank you for being such good friends to Heidi. She loves you. Even after CJ is gone, his memory and my past interactions with him pushes me to be a better and highly driven person. Like he was. We are here for you. Please come visit soon. Love your husband. Love you Keri.<br />
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-83529066250605218562012-08-19T18:38:00.001-07:002012-08-19T18:38:07.579-07:00A funny story from Kaci<br />
Tonight's story is inspired by our late night trip to Walmart:<br />
<br />
I had completely forgotten about this fun memory until we walked by the vat of awesome DVDs at Walmart. This night had to have been around Thanksgiving week when we were all together. We had so many late, late nights with all sorts of fun activities. One night we all decided that we had to go to Walmart to buy something urgent. I remember I wanted to buy mom a crochet needle--what?! We wandered through the aisles looking for the something we just couldn't live without. I believe we were on our way to another family night of volleyball, so we did have some sort of deadline. We finally made our way back up to the front of the store. While somebody was buying their purchases, CJ started looking through the giant vat of DVDs. It was filled with lots of old, old Christmas movies and tons of other random, cheap flicks. He was having fun, so we all decided to join him on his search. He decided that we should make it a game! Everyone had to plunge their hand into the vat of DVDs without looking and pull out one DVD that we thought would be the best. To most people that game would sound so lame, but not to us! We love lame, funny games!! I remember that CJ "won" once with some collection of like 7 old western films. He won because we decided that it was the best deal in that draw. We were on our 4th or 5th turn when the game suddenly came to a halt. We kept digging our hands in deeper and deeper hoping to come up with a true gem. As CJ and I plunged our hands into the movies on that final round, we both felt something squishy and slightly warm at the bottom of the bin. We both immediately pulled our hands out of the movies and were totally grossed out! We couldn't stop laughing or guessing what disgusting item we had touched down in that Walmart bin of movies. It's a silly memory, but I hadn't thought about it until tonight :)<br />
<br />
I love CJ because he fit right in with all of our craziness! All of my memories of him play in my mind to the soundtrack of laughter. I feel like all we did was play, laugh, and have fun--nothing but love!<br />
<br />
I had to write this one down before I forgot it again. I'm just going to write them down as they come.<br />
keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-46986960362721632482012-08-14T20:57:00.002-07:002012-08-14T21:48:24.684-07:00Toni- My Sister<br />
Every time I sit down to write a memory of CJ I stop….I have so many memories. All surrounded with family, fun, competition, food, and most importantly his love for his crazy wife Keri. While all these memories are great, I am saddened that I do not have more memories to share. I feel blessed to have Keri and CJ live so close to us for a short amount of time. Aaron and I would always talk about how cool it was that we actually had friends…my sister and CJ living so close. We actually had someone to double date with, cook Sunday dinners with, run with, do nothing with, and plan vacations with. I still believe that we will get to do all the things we planned with you two crazies. I keep reading the quote by Samuel Smiles that says "Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey towards, casts a shadow of our burden behind us... Hope sweetens the memory of experiences well loved, It tempers our troubles to our growth and our strength. It lends promise to the future and purpose to the past. It turns discouragement to determination." I have hope.<br />
<br />
So, my memories…I know every time I have a 3 course meal (too often), I imagine CJ saying “atta girl” or “dunch.” Every time I eat a bag of chips or eat at the del or that place we shall not name I hear CJ just laughing or saying the all too common phrase “naughty naughty.” Every time I play Mario cart I am thankful because without CJ Aaron and I would have never leveled up so fast. One time we went to a BYU vs. UCI volleyball game and you went inside to pick up a pizza after the game. I was in the car with CJ talking and he saw you running with a pizza through the street. He stopped the conversation we were having and started laughing saying “that’s my baby with the pizza” and “look at my wife, she’s nuts.” He said the same things while he was watching Keri perform a solo dance off at our house… “that’s my babe.” So many small things remind me of CJ. We always had the best of times together!<br />
<br />
I truly believe that I knew you were going to get married from the moment I spoke to CJ. It was not in person, but on the phone. You wanted me to talk to him and make sure he was not getting you anything “too big” for your b-day. Because, technically, you were just starting to “like each other a lot” and gifts were just beginning. He called me and said he wanted to share some ideas he had for your birthday presents. I was totally on board… A few minutes later I had my computer in front of me and I was looking at 3 different Electric bike models. He was not sure which one or color you would like. I looked at them, and gave him my reviews. I chose a black one with a brown seat...I loved it when about 30 minutes later I get a call from CJ telling me he went with the teal bike. He said something about Keri needing a bright color to match her crazy personality. He was right on, because you loved your bike! And I could tell from that phone call that he was just so excited to make you one happy girl.<br />
<br />
It was shortly after this phone conversation that I realized CJ and I had the same birthday. Well, I actually think Keri made him a facebook profile. She believed in having open communication and love via all forms of technology. A common topic of discussion was when and what we were going to do for our next birthday party. We always had a “party” planned. Something big! I missed out this year because he left for Chicago on his B-day. But, I am so happy that Keri got to spend those times with him in the big windy city. <br />
<br />
Gifts…oh the gifts…. Your first Christmas together still makes me laugh. We were at the parent’s house and I was super annoying CJ about what he was going to get you for Christmas. He refused. Just like he refused to tell us the honeymoon spot. I was persistent. He just really didn’t think us Miller girls could keep a secret… Finally, when Keri was in the other room one night he took me into the computer room. He sat on the love sack and I sat on the computer chair as he began to list all the things he got you. It was not the things that impressed me the most during this conversation (but they were impressive), it was the smile from ear to ear he had as he told me he wanted to keep on getting things. The laugh he had when he said he was over budget. And the ideas he had about “if you want it, get it.” We laughed so hard as he told me about the $100.00 to i-tunes gift. We both knew that it was for him, but he mentioned needing to make his wife have good beats. You both went over budget on that Christmas. I just loved it though. Any time we were shopping both of you just found more and more things you wanted to give each other, because why not? Material things are not my favorite part of this memory…it was just the funny crazy love you two had for each other.<br />
<br />
Most of my memories are about CJ’s generosity. And I am sorry I am writing such long thoughts, but I just want to share every detail. The memory that will always be my favorite is our Vegas trip together… We had SO MUCH fun together on this trip. Keri just got her tonsils taken out so she was a trooper, and CJ had not seen Keri in a while so he was pumped to be on a vacay with his lady. I was responsible for buying the tickets to the Circ De Sole show Elvis. I got them a month in advance and spent a pretty penny on them. We got all dressed up to go to the show, took pics., laughed all the way to the front of the line when we learned the now funny, almost embarrassing moment of the trip. I had bought tickets on the WRONG DATE. Not just a day or two off, but an entire week. There was NOTHING they could do about it. I spent hours on the phone and just thought that I ruined the entire trip and wasted everyone’s money…I was devastated. As we all got into a taxi to go back to the room, CJ kept trying to pump me up. He was so worried about me crying, so I tried to play it off like I was OK and wanted to have fun. Later in the evening, before we had our sneaky dinner and CJ won big gambling, we went shopping. While we were shopping and hanging out CJ, Keri, and Aaron planned a surprise for me. Aaron took me on a decoy to get a watch for graduating and Keri and CJ left to go get something. They returned with nothing…The next night we all ate the most delicious meal ever. CJ, or course gave his card the waiter before the meal even began and paid for all of us. They then wanted to go take pictures by the Elvis to “pretend” we went to the show. I really did not want to go over to where the show was playing. I was super embarrassed. They were very persistent and wanted to take pictures, so I went along with it. We took sad face pictures next to the Elvis statue, posed, tried to laugh about it (too soon), and then CJ told me to come to the entrance to have a peek in the door. I thought to myself “why would I want to do that, CJ that’s not very nice.” When I walked over there with CJ, Keri and Aaron following behind, CJ pulled out 4 tickets to the show and said “lets go in and watch the show! With the biggest smile on his face!). I was shocked…and tears came to my eyes knowing that this is the guy my sister is marrying. I was so happy! The show…well it was not the best, but I loved that CJ went behind my back to surprise me. He always believed in having a good time. He let nothing spoil the fun. This story still is a little embarrassing for me, but it is one of those moments I knew CJ’s true character.<br />
<br />
I can write on and on about the great qualities CJ had. All the funny moments we shared together. Whether it is the time you babysat my shorty to times we spent at each other’s houses making pazookies. I love you both so much, and I know that CJ lived life to the fullest. I am thankful that families are together forever, and that we will have the opportunity to play volleyball and laugh again one day. More importantly, I am thankful for witnessing such a powerful and contagious love you and CJ had for each other. You two were slightly crazy, and I loved it. Instead of dwelling on the sad, I find myself smiling at such an awesome eternal companion you chose Keri Mae. Smiling, because I know that is what CJ would want.<br />
<br />
Love you and miss you CJ,<br />
<br />
Toni<br />
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keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4946969387367312790.post-56352241522025036412012-08-14T20:46:00.002-07:002012-08-14T20:47:57.110-07:00Six Months<br />
Today, the 14th, a Tuesday, it has been Six months. Six months I have had this pit in my stomach and broken heart, missing my CJ ever SECOND or EVERY DAY. The life that I had with CJ was so happy and so, and it changed so fast. It has been the longest and slowest couple months.. But it also seems like yesterday we were lying in bed watching Downton Abbey. I still go to my phone to call him when something happens and I want to tell him first… and then my heart drops every time, it HURTS. I have really low days… and I thought that I would feel that low every day the rest of my life… I could.. but I have felt so much love and I have so much love for CJ that I get up.. and I keep trying. I know that there is hope… and I know that CJ would want me to get up and go; To try and keep my head up. I know he hurts seeing me so sad, but I also know his heart hurts too but I know he is watching me and always will. One thing that I KNOW and I am so grateful for is being sealed to CJ in the temple. Being sealed for TIME AND ALL ETERNITY, there is more to this earthly life, and I will ALWAYS be his wife and he will ALWAYS be my husband. Over the last couple months I have had a lot of time to think, to cry, to pray, go to the temple, and read. I have been trying to find peace and comfort in this nightmare. Sleeping is hard… and waking up is even harder, I just want him to be next to me.<br />
<br />
When I am sad… the only thing that gets me out is when I think and I feel the love that we have for each other. It is a bitter sweet… The way CJ made me feel and the way he loved me will never be replaced. The memories I have with him I write in a journal. I write a lot in my journal, it is the only way I can get it all out of my head. But my memory journal is my happier writing… every memory I can see CJ’s big smile and I can hear his laugh and I can FEEL the love we have… things I miss the most. I miss laughing and being truly happy… CJ is my happy. CJ and I did more in 18th months than some couples do in their lifetime… and I am so grateful for our trips and for our time together. Our pre- honeymoon to Cancun. I still laugh that we went away for a week to cancun before we were even engaged… we were just dating. Later in life a couple of our friends actually went on their honeymoon and stayed where we stayed. Our trips to Vegas. Our real honeymoon to Turks and Caicos, it was so beautiful and amazing. CJ knew how to plan trips.. and he loved showing me the “real” way to travel. Our latest two and a half week adventure to the east coast was the BEST time in my life. We went to Washington DC, Boston, and New York with a road trip over to Canada to Niagara Falls. We were with each other 24/7 and wanted more if it were possible. CJ and I lived for each other and would count down the hours till we were off work.. and the daily count down for the weekend was voiced on Monday… We lived for the “freaking weekend” just to be together ALL DAY. I know that sounds cheesy… but it is the truth, we did.<br />
<br />
I cant even explain the love that I have for CJ in words and I also cant even explain the pain I feel and hurt without him here. One thing through all of this… things are EASIER SAID THAN DONE… I know we are sealed.. but it is so hard when I feel like this. Patience… blah! Time heals… blah! The truth is that… they are all the true and I just need to pray for strength. I have never prayed so hard or studied the scriptures more in my life… the comfort and peace that I feel is undeniable. When I go to the temple on Tuesdays, it is so hard, but I do feel peace and I know that it will get eaiser.<br />
<br />
CJ made me a better person. He taught me how to live life. His love for life radiated. But his true glow was his love for the gospel and His love for his Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. His testimony and strength he had was what I loved most. He always said if he could be a missionary the rest of his life, he would. There is no doubt in my mind that is what he is doing now… doing what he loved most, being a missionary. I remember when we were friends… back in 2007, we had a class together. We were taking our final together at my apartment… and the next thing I know I am over the toilet throwing up and CJ had to finish taking my final. I got a better score thanks to him. Right after the final I remember CJ giving me a blessing… and I felt his love and strength so much, the spirit testified that to me. I wrote in my jounal CJ is the man I want to marry. He honored his priesthood, he was worthy to give me a blessing, and continued to throughout our marriage too. My testimony and relationship I have with my Heavenly Father has grown so strong. I pour my heart out in prayer and I know that he knows my broken heart and will help me every step of the way… until the day I go home to my CJ. We will get our happily ever after… some day. That is the hope that I have. CJ is at the end of my road… and I am going to do everything in my power to be worthy to go home to him. I don’t know how… but I know I will.<br />
<br />
I am so very grateful for CJ for taking care of me. For working so hard for our family we were planning on having. We will have our family… some day! Once again.. easier said than done.. it is hard to wrap my head around everything.. but we will and I am so grateful for that. CJ was so good with kids. I loved watching him play with all of our nieces and nephews… it melted my heart seeing how much they love him…and how they always wanted to play with CJ.<br />
<br />
I do know that my life will never be the same without CJ. I know that I want to make him proud… doing what??? I am still working on that. I don’t know. I know that if I am left here on earth without him I want to be able to help others… the way other widows have helped me. Their strength is amazing and gives me hope. I want to be that for someone too. I want to keep doing things that CJ and I loved… I haven’t yet… but one day I will. I have to live my life how CJ would want me to. I am going to try and golf… something he loved!! I am one day going to play tennis… and I am going to win for him! (maybe I will join a league… one day) I am going try to be a better person every day. I am going to share my testimony with complete strangers… like CJ did… but I am going to do that one for me. I am going to travel… I am going to travel the “real” way. I am going to go see the things CJ wanted to show me… and I know he will be with me. Once again… this is all eaiser said than done. I am here… I have to CHOOSE to have faith and CHOOSE to keep going. I am going to start my bucket list… and I am going to do the best I can.<br />
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Without the gospel, family, and friends… I wouldn’t be where I am today. I have the best support. I feel so much love. I have two amazing families… and I am so happy that families can be together forever… but we all have to work hard to get there. My friends… who are also my family… have been with me every step of the way too. Strangers have reached out to me… widows have given me the strength I need. I know that people are put in our paths for a reason here in this life… and I am so grateful for that. There will never be enough good to outweigh the loss of my CJ, of our CJ. He was and is the most amazing husband, son, brother, uncle, and friend anyone could ask for… and we will see him again. That is what I love most… We WILL! It will be the best reunion… I get anxious… but I know that if I try my best, I will receive help from people around me, from my CJ, and my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. I never thought I would be where I am now… six months ago.<br />
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Our life.. our blog is our story… but just a scratch of the surface. I want people to know I LOVE CJ. I want to shout it from the roof… I want everyone to know what a wonderful man he was… and still is. To those who know CJ… who met or haven’t met CJ… I hope that our love can rub off… and that you can know we were the happiest!! Life is so very fragile… I have never felt this pain… I never knew how it felt to lose someone you love… my heart breaks for everyone who has or that is going through this trial in life… and I never truly felt that before. Make sure you tell the ones you love that you love them… every morning and every night… I am so thankful for those words… I LOVE YOU.<br />
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keri mae rhineer heatonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16640899881230500896noreply@blogger.com4