Matt Humes

When I was a newer missionary out in the field, May 1, 2004, Christian and I went on exchanges. I was serving in the Keighley area, in South Yorkshire county. I believe it was near-evening when he came and picked me up in what, I thought, was a cool car (I'm certain he was the president's assistant at this point-with Tidwell?-and he therefore had a car) but it was probably some cheap Vauxhall. We had a somewhat long journey ahead of us and we therefore chatted during the drive, discussing our past selves whatever came to our minds, really. We both discovered that we knew a few of the same people back home. Christian was good friends with a boy named Matt Clarke. I didn't know Matt all that well, but I knew/know his parents quite well, Tom and Gwen Clarke. In fact, they probably live about 1500 feet from my house. I could wave to them from my kitchen window. We realized that it was, indeed, a small world. Having this small connection between us provided a little comfort to me, a 2 month-old missionary. I didn't know him, but I felt good around him.

I recall the misty English weather; the way the lights would shine through the rain a bit. It was a beautiful site, nearly dusk. The more we talked, the more I could tell what a great person he was. You know him as a great man, but be assured that he was also great those 8 years ago, too. At the time I had been having a little trouble adjusting to missionary life, and though there was no questions or doubts in my mind about my purpose in England, I did struggle with missionary "regiment" and with the disconnection from home.

Christian had very encouraging words which, I don't quite recall, oddly. I simply remember how I felt when I heard the words, and that's how I know he was inspired by the Spirit. I think he spoke about how missionary life is hard at times and that it gets both harder and easier but also more and more at home; how it's important to ask the Lord to get you through another day and to seek comfort and answers in the scriptures because they're always there. Again, I can only seem to recall the feelings I had, not really the content. Sorry for that. I wish I could've recorded my entire mission, its every moment.

I came to know Christian here and there throughout my mission. Don't hate me for saying that there were a couple times when I "resented" him because of how good he was, ha ha. Honestly, it was resentment at all-more like a fault on my part for comparing myself to him and other great missionaries like him. He was more advanced spiritually than I was then, and in my mind, there's no doubt that he is still now :)

Christian was a good teacher. He was good because he was able to convince you of truth through the Holy Ghost. His convictions were also admirable. I remember he had this small thing he did with his hands when he taught; he kind of tapped his spread fingers on his scriptures when he was driving home a point or principle. And he also had this funny neck-thing he'd do when he was really teaching, like rolling his head a little-and he always looked you right in the eyes! It was great--never mocking him in any way, of course, but just noticing some of those mannerisms as we all have.

Well, I can't recall much else. If I think of anything, I'll let you know. I've been wanting to send this to you for a while. I'm sorry I haven't, you know how it is. I suppose I will wrap up with my testimony.

I bear testimony to you of the absolute reality of the resurrection and of the world that awaits us when we leave Earth. I know it exists and it is, in fact, our real home. It is so sad to me that Christian has had to leave you. My heart truly aches for you. I know how it feels to loose those who you love and are very close to; I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your best friend. Nevertheless, I'd like to think that the Lord called him to another duty, of the heavenly kind. I can see him now, as I did in the mission field, preaching to those who are in prison. He is setting them free! Yet, I have no doubt that Christian is also pained at your absence from him. I testify that your separation from each other is only temporary and the day will come when he will greet you again, with that huge smile. I know this is completely true. I know that God knows perfectly of our sorrow and pain, and pains along with us. I testify to you that because of the depth of Christ's sufferings, He feels nothing but absolute love and mercy for us and knows exactly how to help us. He wants to comfort us and remove our pain, give us all the answers, send our deceased loved ones back to associate with us--but he can't. The Lord doesn't do these things not because He doesn't want to (I believe He does), it's because if He did, it would frustrate His purposes and our life-path. I know that God is our literal Father and will send His Comforter to be with us. How grateful I am for this knowledge. I declare this in the name of Jesus Christ, our only Hope, Amen!  God bless you in your afflictions!