I love my CJ: Richelle McGuire

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Richelle McGuire

Dear Keri,

I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write this. Truth be told, I have started writing it a few different times and everytime quit in frustration because I couldn’t find the words to express what is in my heart.

The most significant memories I have with CJ happened last summer. It was a really difficult time for me and I spent a few different days with you and CJ.....just the three of us. It was then that I felt I really got to know him and your relationship with him. As I spent time with you two,I understood what a marriage can and should be. You truly live for each other and each other’s love. I found that after spending just a couple days around CJ it quickly became apparent that he is a special individual. He radiates love. Love for the gospel, love for life and just an incredibly obvious love for YOU. After a summer of feeling sorry for myself and all my woes I found inspiration through his example. I wanted to be different and better. It’s amazing how he does that to people. His influence is so powerful.

What I truly think about when I think of memories of him is you. I think of how CJ affected your life. All of your wonderful qualities were magnified when CJ came into your life. Your love for the gospel among many other things became more and more apparent. When I think of what we are taught our whole lives about finding an eternal companion, I think of how we are told to find someone that brings out the best version of ourselves.I don’t think I really understood that principle until I saw that you and CJ are perfect examples of it. I admire you two for that and I aspire to do the same in my own marriage.

A few months ago I was praying to find some words of comfort or to understand how to be the best friend and support for you that I could be. I was praying for the right words or for an experience that could help you in some way. On a Sunday night right after my prayers and before I went to bed, I started scrolling through my phone at all my past text messages. I stumbled upon the name “CJ” and my heart dropped. I opened the text conversation from months previous that I didn’t even know existed and all it said was “Let Keri know that I am home would you.” I felt overwhelmed by the spirit. I felt so much peace, I just wanted to transfer everything that I felt in that moment to you. The confirmation was undeniable. I know that CJ wants you to know he is home and he is waiting for you and I know that you know that.

Your strength inspires me. I am always here for you. Love you and Love CJ.

Thank you for what you both have taught me.

Love Shell.

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Our Story

On July 24, 2010 CJ and I were sealed together in the San Diego Temple for time and all eternity. The HAPPIEST day of our lives and the start of our new life together as the MR. and MRS. Rhineer. I can still remember it like it was yesterday.. Feeling so calm and excited to marry the man of my dreams, my CJ. On February 14, 2012 my CJ was hit by a car on the way to work and passed away.. It is the hardest trial of my life and I will always live with a HUGE hole in my heart for my other half, my CJ. I have missed laughing and loving life. I miss my best friend. Every memory I have with him we are laughing and joking around, we just had FUN.
CJ wanted to show me the world and all the things he loved. He showed me so much in our short time we had married together, but those trips will forever be the BEST days in my life; just the two of us together and so in LOVE. His love for life is what I loved so much about him, we were ALWAYS on the go. We played tennis 3-4 days a week “self taught, no lessons” and we were pretty good. CJ loved to golf, and I loved to ride in the cart with him. The day after we got married he went golfing and I LOVED it because I loved watching him do things he loved- that boy loved golf. Being with CJ was my favorite so it didn’t matter if I was in a golf cart for hours with him. He let me swing away with my one club, my driver, and just laugh trying to give me pointers. We loved riding our bikes to explore and find good places to eat. I would always follow behind him yelling and laughing the whole time for him to slow down for me, but he was just peddling away… so I had to always step on it to keep up. We always were laughing, CJ’s laugh was the best, and always in our own little world together.. as cheesy as it sounds… we couldn’t get enough of each other and we really LIVED for each other. We would always count down the hours till we were done with work and could finally play. I would count the minutes… and he would always laugh at his crazy wife.

CJ made me a better person. The love we had for each other, to me, was more than the rest! Every day he told me he loved me, and I am so grateful to know and feel that. Those were the last and the most meaningful words he said to me on Valentines day.. with the biggest smile on his face, and I felt so much love. I love him.

I know that he is watching me and loving me every hard step I am making. He said he would always have my back. I wish he were here with me.. I know he wants that too..But I know he is waiting anxiously for me to come home to him. I will do my best to make him proud. CJ made me Stronger and our love will continue to grow. I am the luckiest girl to always have my CJ. He is the most loving and wonderful man and I will never stop loving my Mr. WE will never stop loving each other. I am lucky to know that he will always be MY CJ.