Every time I sit down to write a memory of CJ I stop….I have so many memories. All surrounded with family, fun, competition, food, and most importantly his love for his crazy wife Keri. While all these memories are great, I am saddened that I do not have more memories to share. I feel blessed to have Keri and CJ live so close to us for a short amount of time. Aaron and I would always talk about how cool it was that we actually had friends…my sister and CJ living so close. We actually had someone to double date with, cook Sunday dinners with, run with, do nothing with, and plan vacations with. I still believe that we will get to do all the things we planned with you two crazies. I keep reading the quote by Samuel Smiles that says "Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey towards, casts a shadow of our burden behind us... Hope sweetens the memory of experiences well loved, It tempers our troubles to our growth and our strength. It lends promise to the future and purpose to the past. It turns discouragement to determination." I have hope.
So, my memories…I know every time I have a 3 course meal (too often), I imagine CJ saying “atta girl” or “dunch.” Every time I eat a bag of chips or eat at the del or that place we shall not name I hear CJ just laughing or saying the all too common phrase “naughty naughty.” Every time I play Mario cart I am thankful because without CJ Aaron and I would have never leveled up so fast. One time we went to a BYU vs. UCI volleyball game and you went inside to pick up a pizza after the game. I was in the car with CJ talking and he saw you running with a pizza through the street. He stopped the conversation we were having and started laughing saying “that’s my baby with the pizza” and “look at my wife, she’s nuts.” He said the same things while he was watching Keri perform a solo dance off at our house… “that’s my babe.” So many small things remind me of CJ. We always had the best of times together!
I truly believe that I knew you were going to get married from the moment I spoke to CJ. It was not in person, but on the phone. You wanted me to talk to him and make sure he was not getting you anything “too big” for your b-day. Because, technically, you were just starting to “like each other a lot” and gifts were just beginning. He called me and said he wanted to share some ideas he had for your birthday presents. I was totally on board… A few minutes later I had my computer in front of me and I was looking at 3 different Electric bike models. He was not sure which one or color you would like. I looked at them, and gave him my reviews. I chose a black one with a brown seat...I loved it when about 30 minutes later I get a call from CJ telling me he went with the teal bike. He said something about Keri needing a bright color to match her crazy personality. He was right on, because you loved your bike! And I could tell from that phone call that he was just so excited to make you one happy girl.
It was shortly after this phone conversation that I realized CJ and I had the same birthday. Well, I actually think Keri made him a facebook profile. She believed in having open communication and love via all forms of technology. A common topic of discussion was when and what we were going to do for our next birthday party. We always had a “party” planned. Something big! I missed out this year because he left for Chicago on his B-day. But, I am so happy that Keri got to spend those times with him in the big windy city.
Gifts…oh the gifts…. Your first Christmas together still makes me laugh. We were at the parent’s house and I was super annoying CJ about what he was going to get you for Christmas. He refused. Just like he refused to tell us the honeymoon spot. I was persistent. He just really didn’t think us Miller girls could keep a secret… Finally, when Keri was in the other room one night he took me into the computer room. He sat on the love sack and I sat on the computer chair as he began to list all the things he got you. It was not the things that impressed me the most during this conversation (but they were impressive), it was the smile from ear to ear he had as he told me he wanted to keep on getting things. The laugh he had when he said he was over budget. And the ideas he had about “if you want it, get it.” We laughed so hard as he told me about the $100.00 to i-tunes gift. We both knew that it was for him, but he mentioned needing to make his wife have good beats. You both went over budget on that Christmas. I just loved it though. Any time we were shopping both of you just found more and more things you wanted to give each other, because why not? Material things are not my favorite part of this memory…it was just the funny crazy love you two had for each other.
Most of my memories are about CJ’s generosity. And I am sorry I am writing such long thoughts, but I just want to share every detail. The memory that will always be my favorite is our Vegas trip together… We had SO MUCH fun together on this trip. Keri just got her tonsils taken out so she was a trooper, and CJ had not seen Keri in a while so he was pumped to be on a vacay with his lady. I was responsible for buying the tickets to the Circ De Sole show Elvis. I got them a month in advance and spent a pretty penny on them. We got all dressed up to go to the show, took pics., laughed all the way to the front of the line when we learned the now funny, almost embarrassing moment of the trip. I had bought tickets on the WRONG DATE. Not just a day or two off, but an entire week. There was NOTHING they could do about it. I spent hours on the phone and just thought that I ruined the entire trip and wasted everyone’s money…I was devastated. As we all got into a taxi to go back to the room, CJ kept trying to pump me up. He was so worried about me crying, so I tried to play it off like I was OK and wanted to have fun. Later in the evening, before we had our sneaky dinner and CJ won big gambling, we went shopping. While we were shopping and hanging out CJ, Keri, and Aaron planned a surprise for me. Aaron took me on a decoy to get a watch for graduating and Keri and CJ left to go get something. They returned with nothing…The next night we all ate the most delicious meal ever. CJ, or course gave his card the waiter before the meal even began and paid for all of us. They then wanted to go take pictures by the Elvis to “pretend” we went to the show. I really did not want to go over to where the show was playing. I was super embarrassed. They were very persistent and wanted to take pictures, so I went along with it. We took sad face pictures next to the Elvis statue, posed, tried to laugh about it (too soon), and then CJ told me to come to the entrance to have a peek in the door. I thought to myself “why would I want to do that, CJ that’s not very nice.” When I walked over there with CJ, Keri and Aaron following behind, CJ pulled out 4 tickets to the show and said “lets go in and watch the show! With the biggest smile on his face!). I was shocked…and tears came to my eyes knowing that this is the guy my sister is marrying. I was so happy! The show…well it was not the best, but I loved that CJ went behind my back to surprise me. He always believed in having a good time. He let nothing spoil the fun. This story still is a little embarrassing for me, but it is one of those moments I knew CJ’s true character.
I can write on and on about the great qualities CJ had. All the funny moments we shared together. Whether it is the time you babysat my shorty to times we spent at each other’s houses making pazookies. I love you both so much, and I know that CJ lived life to the fullest. I am thankful that families are together forever, and that we will have the opportunity to play volleyball and laugh again one day. More importantly, I am thankful for witnessing such a powerful and contagious love you and CJ had for each other. You two were slightly crazy, and I loved it. Instead of dwelling on the sad, I find myself smiling at such an awesome eternal companion you chose Keri Mae. Smiling, because I know that is what CJ would want.
Love you and miss you CJ,
Toni
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