Sunday, October 21, 2012

Stoneground - Natalie Moore

The other night my little family ventured downtown to grab some grub. We ended up at Stoneground for the first time in a long time. As Gage amazed me with the mess he could make in such a short amount of time, and as Asher continued to drool puddles, I was quickly reminded of why I refuse to take the kids out to dinner with me. Suddenly, it occurred to me the last time I was here, things were oddly similar but ended very differently. You see, the last time we were here eating, you and I had spontaneously purchased groupons while at work just because we were hungry. Typical, I know. Excitedly, we grabbed our men and met up at stoneground for a night out and some pizza. Just as it was the other night, I had a drooling baby attached to my hip. Gage got impatient sitting in the high chair, and whined most of the night. CJ reassured me it wasn't a problem. When the mess and the cries persisted, I came closer and closer to giving up. Just then I noticed CJ sweetly begin to sneak Gage pieces of crust. My little guy ferociously ate every piece. After sharing for most of the night, CJ began to laugh, you know the one, the contagious laugh that makes you never want to stop. In between chuckles he called Gage "a beast" and told us how much he likes beasts. It turns out, over the course of the night CJ had fed Gage a whole pizza crust. I loved that about CJ, he could give any situation a reason to laugh about, even a beastly baby. "The most wasted of all days is that in which we have not laughed." ~Chamfort. I don't doubt that CJ went even a day without laughing. He laughed, he lived, he loved. I'm grateful I got to witness that. Missing you two.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

My sister Tera

My sweet sister Keri

This email has been partially written for about 7 months now, and I
can't stop thinking about it, and my defining CJ moment. It has been
so nice to have you close by Ker, you always have a place here if you
want a break from home. I'm a selfish person, what can I say...

When I think of CJ, I can't help but smile, no matter how I may feel, no
matter how much I miss him, I have to smile. I have to smile because he
made you smile and that was the most important thing. I have never seen you
happier than when you were with your prince charming - CJ.

I always thought you two were equally crazy and so in love with each
other, I felt lucky to be a part of it all and witness such an amazing
relationship. You two knew how to live life to the fullest, you did
more together than most do in a lifetime together. I love you so much,
I love your CJ, I miss him and I miss you two.

Here is my CJ moment, this is the moment that KNEW that CJ was perfect
for you. At this time you were just dating and had been friends for a
long time now. It was when the entire family was in Utah for your
graduation. We all had a great day, come time to go celebrate your big
accomplishment, in typical Miller fashion, we had no idea of what we
wanted to go do, just that we wanted to go do something. How are we
all so indecisive????

As we were all hanging out at your place, getting ready, not knowing
what we were getting ready for, the stress of the moment hit you. With
the entire family looking to you for some answer, a meltdown was in
the making. You had a "Keri moment" (we love you and your moments,)
none of us knew what to do/say to help. We just wanted you to be happy
and have a good time on your big day, and here comes CJ...

CJ to rescue. He walked into your bedroom (where all of us were
crammed, which made it pretty tight in your baby room), saw you having
a moment and that we were not helping at all. He made sure he had your
attention, put his loving arms around you and in that moment, I saw
you melt into him. You suddenly were calm, CJ swooped you away, away
from all of us  and with your CJ by your side you  both came back and
plan was made.

We had such an amazing time at the Jazz game that night and CJ made
that happen. He was by your side until he had you completely calm and
happy. At the same time he made sure to make all of us feel important
and that we could get to know him.

Since this I have had so many special memories with you and CJ. My
other favorite moments are playing tennis. I know you two played hard,
a lot, and were real good. You come to California and want to play, so
of course I join. CJ made me feel like I am good at tennis, he would
hit right to me every time, setting me up perfectly, and sometimes I
would return it to him, and make him run across court. He would be so
patient, show me how to hold the racket and once again, make me feel
good. Then, I would watch the two of you play and realize how easy he
was playing for me.

You two were truly made for each other, complete soulmates, you loved
each other so hard. You two set the high standard for what a marriage
should look like, and how to love and not hold back. I miss CJ, I miss
his laugh, his dance moves and I miss seeing you glow when you are
with him.

Ker Mae, I love you so so much, I am lucky to be your sister, you are
an amazing example in so many ways, I need to be more like you.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Jeff Allen


So on Wednesday I interviewed for the same job CJ did a year ago. Your instagram picture brought this to Heidi and my attention. Kind of a crazy coincidence. And today I heard that I will start in that new position. All the while I recognize the impact that CJ has had on this journey and my life in general. I am so grateful for not only CJ prompting me to apply to Fidelity but the relationship we developed through our career ambitions. He wasn't a childhood friend or even a college buddy, but he has played a very important role in my success over the last two years. He was a guy that I truly looked up to. He was a guy that I went to when I had questions. He was always positive and had something to tell me that gave me confidence about where I was headed. He always wanted to help and I always admired that about him. I remember one messaging conversation that we had about a year ago where he was talking about your trip to Chicago and being back east around the holidays and how important and fun that was for you. He always talked highly of your relationship and wasn't afraid to tell me that he loved you and had a great time doing the holiday season stuff back east. Anyways I just want to let you know that I continually think about you. I have no idea what it must be like day in and day out for you, but I do know that you have a lot to be proud of having been married to CJ. Heidi and I pray and think of you daily. Thank you for being such good friends to Heidi. She loves you. Even after CJ is gone, his memory and my past interactions with him pushes me to be a better and highly driven person. Like he was. We are here for you. Please come visit soon. Love your husband. Love you Keri.